1st Week of the Crazies: Pleasantly Pleasing

This week I am the lead for a little Christian school of twelve sixth graders and two teachers who have worked with these kids since they were five years old. They are possibly my most favorite group of kids yet. Luke wears the same green beanie with a red stripe on it every day with his glasses and his special pencils. He is an artist and draws the most beautiful sketches of the birds and fish. You can tell from his constant inquiring look that he is quite possibly a genius and most definitely destined for greatness. Then there's Ben, who is the wise cracker, always having some clever witty commentary going on the side of what I am saying, which means he's usually getting the "look" from me and his teachers and has lost all his candy privileges for the week (but he's adorable and we're all laughing inside). Bret is so kind and helpful. Logan is lost in his own little world. Natalie is incredibly athletic and always by my side ready to get started. I could go on, but I believe that is enough. You don't know them. But they are truly a great little group and I am so happy they are one that are here for the whole week.

I have been doing better emotionally as well. I've had a lot more time on my hands since breaking up with my boyfriend, so I've spent most of that time reading. Sherlock Holmes has kept me company most days, with a few visits from Hannah Hernard and J. M. Barrie. Working with him still makes it hard to stop being attracted to him because he is so my type. However, I am now at the place where I am almost completely happy that we have broken up. It is definitely for the best and we both deserve better matches. I do know now better then I did before that I am really quite beautiful and worthy of being wanted. I've also learned so much about myself when it comes to the realms of how I react and view men that was only abstract conjecture before. And so I can say that I am not sorry that we dated in the first place, even though he now has my first real kiss (and I can never get that back). What I really miss is the fact that we can't just go back to being friends like we were before. I think I miss his friendship the most. The cuddling I'm sure will be even better with someone who really wants to be with me, but he was such a singular person and I so miss our conversations (back before he started scoffing at everything I had to say). And that is all the bitterness I will allow. Like I said, I am mostly happy that we broke up. But there is still a part of me that thinks he really made a poor mistake and ended something that could have just started to be a really good thing.

Preparing for Crazy

It's Sunday, the day before our first big crazy week of camp commences. This month is supposedly going to be insane! Hopefully I live through it without getting too fatigued, emotionally exhausted, or too sun burnt.

This past week was quite chill and enjoyable. I was with Firefly (not the lead, which means I didn't have to wake up early to do announcements!) with a group of 7th and 8th graders who were incredibly fun and charming. We didn't have any problem children and the principal who came with them who seemed to be cantankerous at the beginning of the week turned out to be rather wonderful and a whole lot of fun by the second day and beyond. I had charge of the 8th graders, although we mostly did everything together. Firefly and I got to spend some time together and I got to get to know her a bit better and I like her even more. She is such a sweet giving soul.

This weekend we were able to just relax and watched Saturday morning cartoons (Megamind) and played a lot of pool (which it turns out I'm not half bad at). Then we had a big game of ultimate Frisbee and I actually was able to catch and throw satisfactorily on occasion, which is a definite improvement!

Last week was also full of the first real sunshine and warm weather without a whole lot of wind that we have experienced all spring so far. Unfortunately I hear it's supposed to rain this week and it went back to cold, overcast, and windy this weekend. Which also means I had no chance to even out my tan. For the first time in my life I am actually tanning! However, I've been getting most of my tan on my legs during kayaking, which means that I now have some pretty dramatic top half and short tan lines on my legs that desperately need some evening out! However, hooray for skin that has finally learned how to work with the sun!

Emerald Bay is such a beautiful place to live and I feel that I have been living like crazy this spring, learning more about myself and life in general than I have in the past few years put together. What a life journey I've been on! It makes me wonder what God has in store for me next. All I know is that no matter how wonderful going back to school and starting my internship will be, I am going to dreadfully miss this place and this time with my new (sometimes slightly dysfunctional) MSA family.