This week I am the lead for a little Christian school of twelve sixth graders and two teachers who have worked with these kids since they were five years old. They are possibly my most favorite group of kids yet. Luke wears the same green beanie with a red stripe on it every day with his glasses and his special pencils. He is an artist and draws the most beautiful sketches of the birds and fish. You can tell from his constant inquiring look that he is quite possibly a genius and most definitely destined for greatness. Then there's Ben, who is the wise cracker, always having some clever witty commentary going on the side of what I am saying, which means he's usually getting the "look" from me and his teachers and has lost all his candy privileges for the week (but he's adorable and we're all laughing inside). Bret is so kind and helpful. Logan is lost in his own little world. Natalie is incredibly athletic and always by my side ready to get started. I could go on, but I believe that is enough. You don't know them. But they are truly a great little group and I am so happy they are one that are here for the whole week.
I have been doing better emotionally as well. I've had a lot more time on my hands since breaking up with my boyfriend, so I've spent most of that time reading. Sherlock Holmes has kept me company most days, with a few visits from Hannah Hernard and J. M. Barrie. Working with him still makes it hard to stop being attracted to him because he is so my type. However, I am now at the place where I am almost completely happy that we have broken up. It is definitely for the best and we both deserve better matches. I do know now better then I did before that I am really quite beautiful and worthy of being wanted. I've also learned so much about myself when it comes to the realms of how I react and view men that was only abstract conjecture before. And so I can say that I am not sorry that we dated in the first place, even though he now has my first real kiss (and I can never get that back). What I really miss is the fact that we can't just go back to being friends like we were before. I think I miss his friendship the most. The cuddling I'm sure will be even better with someone who really wants to be with me, but he was such a singular person and I so miss our conversations (back before he started scoffing at everything I had to say). And that is all the bitterness I will allow. Like I said, I am mostly happy that we broke up. But there is still a part of me that thinks he really made a poor mistake and ended something that could have just started to be a really good thing.