I love how the straightest looking road can surprise you with a turn or a bend.
This is how I feel about being here, living in an apartment in SoCal, going to grad school. My roommates are two lovely girls I'm so happy to know. I love that we seem to like so many of the same things, even though we are all so different in many ways. The more I get to know those in my cohort, the more I'm starting to warm up to them and I'm starting to get excited about spending the next two years getting to know them better. My classes are interesting. I don't think I could have chosen a better career path for my personality and interests. I'm just eating up all that we're learning about the theories of adult development.
I'm also learning still so much about myself. The journey of self-discovery is never ending, and just as surprisingly bendy as that road I was talking about earlier. Even crisis can be a wrapped present of possible discovery.
And this makes me think about God. Some people say that "how can there be a God with so much bad in the world?" But I just don't see that. I see how bad this world is, and I know I don't even see the half of it, but I don't just see the bad. I wonder how there can be so much good in this world, with even the bad things leading to good in the craziest ways if there wasn't a God full of goodness watching over it all. He can't help it that we asked for our freedom and then blame Him for every bad decision that one of us makes.
We expect paradoxes. We say people should be able to do whatever they want to do if they just don't hurt anyone. But then who determines what is "hurt?" We say truth is relative. But is that truth relative then? And if I say truth is fixed, why do you get angry? By your own admission, you shouldn't be able to tell me that I can't say that or believe it.
Why is this not obvious?
For me, I can only rest in the belief that my life does have purpose and meaning, that there is Someone who is perfect and good and cares who knows me and is responsible for me. I can only find relief and the ability to try, because I know that whatever I do, I can't ruin His plans. There is something greater and bigger than me, and guidance is available for the asking. There is still hope for this world. And because I can rest in the knowledge that Someone so trustworthy and dependable has my back, I have the courage to be brave and to try things I never would risk if I thought I was on my own.