Crazy Weekend

It's late, so a fuller blog will come soon, I'm sure.

This weekend I turned twenty-eight, saw the best rendition of Don Qixote I've ever seen performed at CBU, saw J. M. Barrie's "Peter Pan" performed in amazing spectacle by actors I've seen in movies before, and...

watched as my mom almost went into cardiac arrest. She now has a pacemaker in and will have to deal with that for the rest of her life. It's going to have to make some big changes in all our lives. I'm hoping that she get more sleep because of it at least.

Everything seems to be going well and her color looked pinker than I've seen her look in a while.

Thanks to all the prayers, I felt a surprising amount of peace through the entire ordeal. I hope that continues for all of us. My family is broken and fractured in so many places (which I'm sure is normal for everyone) and I just want everything to be healed and happy. Hopefully this sudden weird out-of-the-blue experience will be a blessing in disguise that God will use to "work everything for the good."

Needless to say, my NaNoWriMo quota for this weekend has been shot. Hopefully I can pick back up tomorrow.

Right now, I'm another year older and probably have a few white hairs starting to grow in somewhere. What a weekend!

I have realized that one can never be old enough to not feel completely helpless and freaked out when a parent's health is in crisis.

A Temping I Will Go

Today I registered once again with the temp agency I worked through just after college. Not my most excited moment, but my attempts at employment on my own have failed miserably and I decided it was time to finally crawl back.

Well, that's being slightly dramatic. No, I am not excited about temping again! However, I would rather temp than work with food, retail, crying babies, or scary animals. And it is really temporary this time... hopefully.

I am waiting to see if APU has accepted me into their masters program, and if they do then I'll hopefully be hired as a graduate assistant and start work with them in August, 2011. That is the big hope! Then I'll be two years away from having a Masters in Student Affairs and hopefully have a really awesome job that I love that is all about working with college students and helping to make dreams come true and having a lot of fun and fellowship along the way.

I would be happy with that... I think.

There of course are other dreams, but they are still rather dormant still either rotting away in a tomb or planted and waiting for sunshine and water to pop back out of the earth. I'm still not sure which ones are which yet; seed or coffin.

Right now, I just need something to do that will give me money to pay bills. So temping it is... hopefully they'll call me soon.

~~~

Otherwise, my NaNoWriMo story is coming along. I just did something rather drastic to get one of my characters to move. You would think that since you are their creator, they would try to please you a little more, but no! They have to be difficult sometimes, so I might have killed her entire family. Yah, I'm really glad I'm not God.

In case you like the excepts, here's another one. And if you don't, STOP READING NOW!

Whimsy took her place in front of her and waited. She began to wonder if perhaps Grande Dame Thelma had forgotten that there was one more to bless, and she wondered if she should alert her to her presence in some way. She awkwardly cleared her throat, and when that seamed to have no effect, she lifted a nervous hand to touch the old lady’s shoulder. But before her fingers had touched even a fiber of her clothing, the Grande Dame’s silvery head shot back up and her eyes once more held the fire she had seen in them before.
“Come!”
None of the other women had noticed the change in the elderly lady’s demeanor yet, as they were still busy congratulating the other girls. Whimsy was entirely shocked and didn’t know how to respond. Grande Dame Thelma grabbed her by the wrist and propelled her forward with more strength than Whimsy could have given her credit for ever possessing. They were both outside the lights of the town square before she even realized that she was moving. When they soon reached the line of willows that surrounded the village at the West Gate, Whimsy abruptly turned to face the elderly lady and was startled at what she saw. No longer did she look like a gentle gray haired grandparent who always had something sweet about her person. Her eyes were not just fired with passion as before, but now they were filled with what Whimsy was certain was actually hate, although she could tell it was not exactly directed at her. She seemed taller too somehow, as if a new important purpose had possessed her body and made it suddenly younger and stronger.
“Whimsy. It stands as I told you earlier. You must decide now. Something has happened to force your decision before it was supposed to. I regret that, and there are so many things that I wish I had time to explain, but you must be ready if it has been allowed to happen now.”
Now Whimsy was really frightened.
“Grande Dame Thelma! What are you talking about? This doesn’t make sense. Look! The sun has set! I’m going to miss the First Dance! Please Grande Dame, let’s go back. You’re tired.”
“Oh child, I am so sorry. But you must run. Now!

And the Writing Continues

And the thrilling madness of NaNoWriMo continues! So far I am still thoroughly enjoying myself. I have found that the released pressure of feeling like I have to know what to write about has uncorked a valve inside of me that has been blocked for a very long time.

Now I feel as if there is a creative geyser rushing out of me and I can't wait to get the other things I have to do each day out of the way so that I can keep writing. What a relief!

I learned an invaluable amount of crucial knowledge in college while obtaining my degree in English. However, during that process, writing became work to me instead of happy escape like it had always been before. I learned the necessity of structure, and I am so thankful for all my professors and everything they pounded into my at times pulpy brain. It was all needed and helpful.

But it has taken this exercise to finally give back to me the flow and freedom that I used to write with, and hopefully now my writings will go even further now that I have such a solid structural foundation.

I had started to give up on my old dream of actually getting my writings published. Nothing of any worth in my eyes was coming out anymore. I hated writing more than ever. But now a few rays of hope that perhaps the dream isn't quite as dead as I thought it might be are starting to brake through.

Here's another excerpt from what's going on my story so far:

Whimsy sat high up in her favorite tree, waving back and forth with the gently blowing breezes. It was a large sturdy sycamore, rather uncommon and different from most of the usual oaks and pines of Ferngnaw Sul. That’s why she liked it best; it was different, just like her. Sycamore branches, unlike brittle oaks, were just as strong at the very tips as they were at the base, which meant that if you were brave enough, you could climb all the way up to the very top of the center most branch until your head almost broke through the leaves. And there you could perch, swaying in the wind while looking over the entire mountain ranges. This was Whimsy’s favorite place in the entire world. Well, it was one of them at least. She had a myriad collection of favorites and the most favorite was always the one she was in at the time.

NaNoWriMo Begins!

Today is the first day in the race to finish a 50,000 word novel by the end of November! I am participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)! If you're interested, it's no too late. Check them out at www.nanowrimo.com, although it seems like everyone and their mother are already participating and are slowing down their website so much I can't even get on.

My friend Beth (Shims) first alerted me to this awesomely "novel" (hehe) idea. At first I thought, "Wow! Sounds neat!" Then after committing, I thought, "Why the heck did I commit to this possible ulcer inducer?!" But today was the first day and my challenge was to knock out my first 1,667 words. I sat down with nothing in my head but an idea for a problem and the desire to write a fantasy tale. I had two reasons for choosing fantasy: the first was that I like fantasy (easy enough) and the second was because I figured that having no rules in creating my own world would be the easiest way to write fast.

I sat at my computer and... had no idea what to write first. So I came to my third decision. I was going to have to come up with a lot of words fast to make the deadline, so my editor in my brain had to be turned off and instead, I decided to make this an exercise in "free-writing" where I would just start writing whatever popped into my head and let it flow into my fingers and see where it led.

Surprisingly, it became almost as fun as reading a new novel myself! I had no idea where I was going, but just kept writing. When I looked down, I was over 2,000 words with a mysterious storming mountain surrounded by farmland, a mystic jungle, jagged woodsy coasts and four different people groups! I'm so excited to see what happens next that I might start writing some more tonight!

Hopefully the excitement will continue as the days go on. But today was a very good day!

Here's a glimpse at the first paragraph:

It was a dark and stormy night. The air was breathless and tight. Nothing made a noise. Nothing dared. There was a tenseness that was felt to be of a greater proportion to the entirety of everything else. It was the feeling of bated breath, the intake of fearful expectation, before something truly dramatic happens.

Barrie's Pan is Coming!

My birthday is almost here, which means that I'm creeping at an alarming rate to the ripe age of 30! Arge! I will be twenty-eight this November 14th. How old this sounds! I don't feel that old at all. In fact, I still feel quite juvenile and innocent of much of life. But then I've always been a late bloomer, so really it should feel like anyone else turning twenty-five at the oldest.

And to celebrate my obvious desire to cling to youth, I will be celebrating my birthday by seeing J. M. Barrie's original "Peter Pan!" No one does this version anymore, which has always baffled me since it is in my opinion the deepest and best. Well, my dreams have come true! Someone in England finally decided that it must be done again and it was such a success in London that they brought it to LA and now I get to see Peter Pan the way J. M. Barrie wrote him and his world for the first time; and on my birthday too!

Excited is too small a term for how I feel.

Let Down by craigslist

Still applying for jobs. Still have not received any calls or emails replying to my requests for employment... except a random one yesterday that I decided to let go.

I got an email saying in slightly misspelled and grammatically incorrect sentences that my application for employment over craigslist.org had been cleared for an "Instant Message" interview! A WHAT?!!! Is this the new way to interview people these days?! I decided that life can't have become that crazy and weird yet, and that a possible scam or joke was in the mix, so I decided to delete the email and continue my search in the hopefully less murky waters of other job sites.

So much for craigslist. Nobody seems to want my shoes that I'm trying to sell on there either. I have been completely let down by you craig.

Waiting With Bated Breath

I have officially applied for the Masters of Science program at Azusa Pacific University in College Counseling and Student Development. Now I am waiting for the references to come in and for the school to decide my fate. I feel confident, but perhaps I shouldn't. There's nothing worse than rising high on expectations only to have them crash and burn. It's the only other thing that Anne and I disagree on. (The other is the fact that she doesn't like November, and I love it.) However, I digress.

Well, I don't know what else to say or what else to update. My life is rather quiet besides that one piece of tension. I wake up every morning, ready myself for the day, and then proceed to apply for jobs online. Not one call back yet. It's been a few weeks of this monotonous routine, and I am trying not to give in to discouragement. But God has been very good. I am not suffering from the horrible anxiety that nearly paralyzed me during most of this past year. I have found hope again, and not because of anything in particular or any great change in my life (for there hasn't been). I think it's because I've finally given up. I have recognized that God is in control of my life and He is in charge of my future. I will do all that I can in front of me, but He is in charge. And because He is so good, I have hope.

I am also yet again greatly enjoying my favorite book of all time (besides the Bible) - Jane Eyre. No other fictitious book gives me such pleasure, hope, and biblical inspiration. Every time I read it I get more from it than the time before. And THAT is the sign of a truly wonderful book! Charlotte Bronte was an amazing writer, and obviously had a wealth of deep spiritual insight that just came through her storytelling naturally because of who she was, and not in annoyingly shallow platitudes or morals. I love this story so much. (And as an aside, I realized that it is a form of the Beauty and the Beast story mixed with Cinderella. No wonder I love it!)

Well, that's all I have for now.